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Posted September 23, 2014 by Shannon in Deals

Nerd Merch on the Cheap

Okay, this was originally meant to be part of a post dedicated to what I call nerd merch, which I’ve found at a variety of stores, and to act as a sort of Total Geek Shopping Bonanza How-to Guide; HOWEVER, I’ve had lots of questions and comments on some of the other various merch I purchased at one particular store, so this is now a post about cool stuff that doesn’t cost a fortune (although I will still write another post dedicated to nerd merch in general).


Now we can get down to business.
Here’s the deal: I’m a bargain shopper. I hate, and by hate I mean I DESPISE, spending a fortune on… well, almost anything. I refused to pay more than $350 for a laptop and ended up with a pretty awesome laptop that was drastically marked down because it was a display item. The 32″ flat screen TV in my bedroom cost me $100. If it can be bought for cheap, I will find it, and I will buy it. So it should come as no surprise that when my kids started hounding me for Marvel merchandise that cost upwards of $20 a pop (shirts, hats, etc) that I began looking for ways to satisfy both our needs: their need to look cool and my need to not sell a kidney in order for them to look cool.

BEHOLD: Walmart!

Behold: Walmart!

Do you hear angels singing? Because I do.

Look, I know that Walmart gets a bad rap what with the People of Walmart and whatnot, but if you can condescend to mingle amongst the unwashed masses and don’t mind waiting in line at one of the 4 (out of 30) registers that are actually open, then you’ll find some cool stuff in this veritable cornucopia of bargains.

Shall we get right down to brass tacks?
I have found everything from snark merch to nerd merch at this retail giant and have paid between $1-$10 per item. DID YOU HEAR THAT? No, of course you didn’t because I’m typing, so read it again:

Here I am with my oldest child (who is a fan of Venom):

Captain America  and Venom

$8.92, baby.

And here is my middle child (who loves Deadpool):


$7.50, yo!

Then of course my youngest (who loves Bumble Bee):


$6.97, homies.

And then there’s me, representin’ the Marvel ‘verse:

Marvel Universe

$7.50? Why, yes, I believe I will.

Then there’s this, which is possibly my greatest retail achievement EVER. Seriously, I felt myself level up when I paid for it:

The Sarcasm is strong with this one

$1.00 WHAT?! Yes, ONE DOLLAR.

Here’s a Mario backpack for $10:
Mario Backpack
And a Marvel Minecraft shirt (kids) ($6.97):
Marvel Minecraft
And then this shirt which you will have earned by being a savvy shopper but which you will still have to pay $5.44 for:
I'm Just like you only smarter and better looking
A couple of my personal favorites ($5.44 each):
Attempting to care
This stuff that I purchased for my kids ($7.50 character shirts and $5.44 for the snark):
And then THIS (OMG STAR WARS!) ($9.97 for the Transformers, Marvel, Jedi, and Game On hats; $4.88 & $6.97 for the kids’ shirts):
One more block
Yes, I did totally nerdgasm when I saw the Jedi hat. I only wish orange was my color 🙁 .

By now you’re probably wondering why you have never found awesomeness of such magnitude while you were shopping in Walmart, and I can only assume it’s because you’re either A)a woman or B)are trying to get out of the store before someone you recognize sees you in your pajama pants. Why does being a woman preclude you from finding the best t’s and hats, you ask? Because they were ALL found in the men’s/boy’s section. I’ll never understand why it is assumed that women don’t want to look AWESOME and rock some nerd merch, but apparently we’re expected to wear boring patterned tops and floppy straw hats and the like. So here’s my solution, ladies (and dudes that want to buy their ladies something they’ll actually LIKE): let your grandma shop in the women’s section while you saunter on back to the men’s department and proceed to stock up on pure wardrobe awesomeness. That’s right, ladies, there’s no invisible forcefield or secret password keeping you locked out. You don’t have to belch loudly or scratch inappropriately to blend in with the natives, just walk right into the middle of the men’s section and harvest the fruits of your shopping labors!

Or, if the very idea of wearing a generic t-shirt not specifically intended for your gender gives you the vapors, you can always mosey on over to the women’s lingerie department for some nighttime apparel (I have no idea how much these cost because I sleep in t-shirts, but I thought they were cute):
Wonder Woman
Need more coffee
So now you know where and how to find affordable nerd merch and wearable sarc. Go forth and look amazing, fellow shoppers! And keep both kidneys (you might need them).


Book nerd, coffee drinker, and mom of three with a weakness for action movies and swaggering space cowboys. Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.