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Posted January 24, 2014 by Tim Wells in TV

10 Reasons I Wish #Marvel’s Agent Coulson Was My Boss

Note: this post contains spoilers for those of you who have not seen Marvel’s The Avengers. Also, if you are one of those people, you are officially dead to me.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

No offense to my current coworkers, but I’d trade them for Coulson and crew, in a heartbeat.

Earlier today, I made the following comment on Facebook:

I realize it’s not Clark Gregg’s fault he looks like my jerk boss, but every time I watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I cringe just a bit.

For the less nerdy among you, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is Marvel‘s weekly Avengers spin-off on ABC, which Dawn and I have become big fans of. Clark Gregg plays the show’s lead character, Agent Phil Coulson. Coulson has appeared in several Marvel films, including Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and Thor. He most recently appeared in The Avengers, in which he was killed by the villainous Loki.

“Wait,” I hear you saying, “Agent Coulson was killed? Then how is he in an ongoing series?”

To which I’ll predictably reply, “Watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and find out.”

Of course, you’ll respond with, “But…”

And I’ll cut you off, “No buts. Just watch it.”

You’ll huff, and puff, and pout a bit, and then you’ll give in and watch. Meanwhile, I’ll be waiting patiently for your sincere outpouring of gratitude for turning you on to an awesome show. You’re welcome.

Wow. How’d we get so derailed? I blame you and your poorly-timed questions. Can I please get back to my story, now? Jeesh. Some people.

So, as I was saying, my boss looks a lot like Clark Gregg, a.k.a. Agent Coulson. Here’s some photographic evidence:
Clark Gregg looks like my jerk boss
Uncanny resemblance, right?

So, anyway, after I commented about how it’s not Clark Gregg’s fault that he looks like my jerk boss, I started thinking; how great would it be if Agent Coulson was my boss?

Without further ado, I present the top 10 reasons I wish Agent Coulson was my boss. And if you don’t get some of the references, I highly suggest watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the movies, linked above.

10. Working on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Globemaster plane means bye-bye, cubicle!

9. Who needs an iPhone charger cable when you’ve got Thor?

8. Dealing with Hydra terrorists and super villains is a cakewalk compared to the average tech support customer.

7. Unlike my current TV service, S.H.I.E.L.D. satellites don’t go on the fritz every time it rains.

6. Agent Coulson could introduce me to Captain America, and I could get my vintage trading cards signed. Did I mention they’re vintage?

5. The S.H.I.E.L.D. night-night gun would greatly simplify bedtime at the Wells house.

4. Instead of “business casual,” the dress code would be “business badass.”

3. I hear Coulson is tight with Joss Whedon. Maybe we could get Firefly back on the air.

2. Constantly hearing about how “Tahiti is a magical place” beats constantly hearing about how much healthier my boss eats than I do.

And the #1 reason I wish Agent Coulson was my boss:

1. Staff meetings with the Hulk.

Let me know your thoughts on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Coulson, and suggestions for where I should look for a new job after my boss sees this, in the comments section below.

Tim Wells

Dad, husband, gamer, blogger, geek. Not necessarily in that order.