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Posted January 26, 2014 by Tim Wells in Family
 
 

Stay-At-Home-Moms Are Heroes

Wonder WomanOver the weekend, I read one of the most hateful, bitter, and downright stupid articles about stay-at-home-moms that I suspect has ever been published. I’ll link to it at the end of this post, in case you feel like killing a few brain cells. The title of the article is, “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry.”

Here’s an excerpt:

Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.

I’m not sure where to even start. A friend of mine pointed out that everyone is entitled to an opinion, just as everyone else is entitled to disagree with that opinion. That’s true. But just because someone is entitled to an opinion, doesn’t automatically make their opinion valid, let alone intelligent. Throughout history, there have been countless examples of people who have devalued entire segments of the population, just because they didn’t identify with them. We call these people ‘bigots’.

In the quote above, the author seems to be saying that being solely focused on yourself is somehow more noble than the sacrifices made by mothers who put the lives of their children ahead of their own. To this, I say, hogwash. OK, I may have said something a little stronger when I first read the article. But this is a family blog, so I’ll restrain myself a bit.

The author goes on to say:

I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

To me, this is the paragraph that really illustrates the author’s ignorance. I would think this would be obvious, but allow me to enlighten the author as to why she never hears men talk about the rigors of managing a household:

Because stay-at-home-moms are freakin’ superheroes, that’s why.

My wife, Dawn, was the breadwinner for our family, the entire time I went to school to try to learn a marketable skill. She worked full-time, in a management position, while encouraging me, motivating me, and supporting me.

After I graduated and found employment, we made the decision – together – to have Dawn stay home and raise our four children. It wasn’t shirking of responsibility, or missed opportunities for “accomplishments.” It was the exact opposite. We knew that Dawn could do a better job of caring for, educating, and raising our children than any government agency or daycare could.

We also realized that being a homeschooling stay-at-home-mom meant more work and longer hours than anything Dawn had faced in the workforce. Especially since our youngest has Crohn’s Disease and has required special care over the years. That’s called courage, folks. And it takes a TON more courage to make a commitment like that, than it does to belittle someone else for doing something you, yourself, aren’t willing to do. You have no idea how many times, upon hearing that my wife homeschools our four kids, other women have said to her, “Wow. I’ve got a lot of respect for you. I just don’t think I’d be able to handle that.”

Well, get in line. Because nobody has more respect for my wife, than I. At the risk of coming across even more useless than I am, I think it’s pretty clear who the glue is in the Wells family.

Did I mention that Dawn is also a full-time blogger, with tens of thousands of followers? Trust me, she’s not lacking in the “accomplishment” department.

The main difference between people like the author of that article, and people like my wife? People like my wife don’t just contribute, they create. And it’s a miraculous, beautiful thing to behold. Lives born, futures shaped, dreams nourished.

I don’t know what kind of childhood the author of this terribly flawed article had, but I do know this: my children’s lives, as well as my own, have been immeasurably enriched by the unending efforts of my wife to be the best wife and mother she can be. And I highly doubt that any of our children will grow up so ungrateful that they would ever write anything that diminished those efforts.

In closing, I’d just like to show you what a real woman, with real accomplishments looks like:

Dawn and girls

My hero.

As promised, here’s a link to the article. Just be warned, the epic level of dumb is staggering.




Tim Wells

 

Dad, husband, gamer, blogger, geek. Not necessarily in that order.